You may be wondering how in the world I ended up with TWO babies who are FOUR months apart…let me fill you in on our AMAZING story.
My husband and I had been married for three years when we decided it was time to have a baby. We were driving back home after meeting our niece Grace for the first time and we both had a bad case of baby fever! In my gut I knew that having children would not be an easy road…I don’t know how…but I just knew. In that first conversation we talked about my heart for adoption and how I hoped we would adopt a baby someday…I even proposed that we adopt our first child because I felt so drawn to adoption. I began to gather information from the local adoption agency soon after returning home.
Six months into our “let’s have a baby” plan we found out that both Jer and I had fertility issues. Bummer. We almost immediately began fertility treatments. Pills, Shots, Patches, Acupuncture, Hot Tea, you name it we tried it. After a year of treatments we decided to visit a doctor I had seen on the Discovery Health Channel. Off to St. Louis we went with high hopes that Dr. Silber could help us start our family. Our first round of In Vitro Fertilization was successful and we were pregnant with twins! Unfortunately the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage during the first trimester.
After the miscarriage we started seriously praying and pursuing adoption. After a few “almost” adoptions it seemed as if our “lets have a baby” plan was not ever going to happen.
A year after our miscarriage we headed back to St. Louis for our last round of IVF. I knew that I couldn’t go through the emotional and physical strain that IVF put on me again, so this was it…the last time. Ten days later we had a positive pregnancy test! Hallelujah! We were beyond thrilled…and couldn’t wait for our first ultrasound to find out if we were having twins. Six weeks later we were in the doctor’s office hoping to see two sweet little heart beats. After a long, painful silence from the ultrasound nurse I realized that there were not two heart beats…there wasn’t even one heart beat…there wasn’t even a baby…just an empty sac.
We were devastated.
Because we had done IVF the doctors new without a doubt that we should be able to see the baby and it’s heart beat by this time in the pregnancy. THANKFULLY my family doctor convinced my OBGYN to do another ultrasound three days later before proceeding with a D&C. For three days I cried and prayed and cried and prayed. I have never felt like God “owed” me a baby or that I “deserved” a baby…but I wanted a baby more than anything in the whole world…so I poured my heart out to God and tried so hard to believe that He knew what was best for our family.
Three days later we went back to have the ultrasound. As I walked back to the exam room I felt like I was walking the plank, I swear everything was in slow motion. I had to go to the restroom before the ultrasound just to compose myself. In that restroom I had a very tender moment with God. I literally got on my knees and put my face to the floor (gross I know) and asked God to hold me close during the next few hours. I walked back to the exam room feeling a lightness and peace that only a loving Father can give. I didn’t not expect to see a baby on the ultrasound, but I fully expected God to comfort us in our grief.
The same nurse walked into the room and started doing the sonogram. The next thing I know I hear it….thump, thump, thump, thump…Jer said “what is that?” and the sweet/stunned nurse said “that’s your baby.”
THAT’S OUR BABY!!!!!
Fast forward two months…we are in Florida for a wedding. We are still basking in our pregnancy glory when I get a message from the adoption agency. The agency had a birth mother that was looking for a family “just like us” (whatever that means…). I was stunned. I told the agency that I was pregnant and to ask if that would be an issue to this birth mother. In the mean time we were somewhere between panic and amazement. What do we do?! Do we adopt? Could we do this? It seemed WAY too big for us.
After talking with our families and some close friends we realized that the years of asking God to “put our family together according to HIS plan” had prepared us for this journey and we fully believed that this was HIS answer to that prayer.
Three months later I was 5 1/2 months pregnant, standing in the delivery room watching my daughter being born. It was surreal and quite frankly a little intimidating….I don’r recommend being pregnant and watching a live birth FYI. We spent the next four weeks waiting for the adoption paperwork to be processed so we could go back home to Kansas. During that time we were able to get to know our birth mother, our time with her was a gift.
Four months later I gave birth to CeCe and the rest is history….very funny/exhausting/joyful history!
Through all of this I am so thankful to GOD for having such a creative plan for our family.